Thursday, July 3, 2008

I told you so, I told you so!

Ok, let's talk film. I said it. Last month I predicted this and today it has come true. Now, keep in mind that these people, these Hollywood execs are easy to predict. Lets say a die hard football fan can predict what play is coming next in the play book. I can without any doubt predict what kind of move these execs will make in their playbook. Why you ask? Well, because they have been doing it for years. They have been predictable as November rain for decades now. It's not my fault. They do it to themselves! They are talentless accounting and marketing majors without a shred of original thinking. They make safe decisions based on looking good.

I know you will say, "don't we all make decisions based on making ourselves look good?" I say no. We as a society need to make decisions based on a Moral Code of right and wrong. Getting new talent and new ideas in Hollywood is right. Rehashing Terminator 4 with an absurd timeline now way out of whack is wrong. Where is the Terminator timeline now? I think Sarah Connor has been almost killed, what is it, three times? There have been three or four alternate futures, not counting Terminator 3-D in Universal Studios (too bad that could not have burnt down too), and we have another reality in the TV show the Sarah Connor Chronicles. So that's five alternate futures alone without this new movie.

Who the hell knows anyway?

Well all know the basic theory of time travel with Back to the Future. So, where is this going? I don't know. And the title of the new film is Terminator Salvation-The Future Begins. So now the future is beginning? I thought it ended? Or did it begin just to end and then begin again? Well I think it began again only to begin again...and again. I have no idea what is going on with this Terminator timeline and I will bet a shiny penny that the writers themselves do not know. James Cameron the creator of all this is probably laughing about how many times this thing can begin and end only to begin again after it ended.

Anyway back to the point, so we have figured out these past couple days that all we are as a movie going audience is a catalyst to helping studio execs look good. That's we are. We make over paid accounting majors look good for their peers. If that wasn't the case then execs would take chances. We would see a new well thought out film released by a major studio come out every week. And we would say, "wow that was an interesting take on..whatever." But no, instead we have Hannah Montana. Why because she will break even the bank on its first weekend.

So why am I right this week? Well lets go back to June 2nd. This is word for word what I said then, "So what TV shows will be forwarded to the BIG SCREEN. I can tell right now and I will bet my right arm that Execs will take from this experience is NOT that a female demographic show that is well written WILL bang out the box office They will inevitably think that bringing back any POPULAR TV show to the BIG SCREEN with the original cast members will the next step. Reunion TV shows on the big screen. You can bet on that. I am sure we will see news of that soon."

A little over a month after I predicted that does Slashfilm dot com bring news of a Friends movie in the works. Not only do they say it will happen, they say it will be in production in less than 18 months. And the article says that that this is a direct result of the success of SATC. I knew it! I told you Film Fans this on June 2nd. They will take from the SATC success not that we want more complex storytelling, but TV shows reuniting on the big screen. I saw this way before they did. Why? Because I have talent. I am not a accounting marketing major. Well it has been announced and this has the possibility of being the new trend of rehashing.

If the Friends movie is actually greenlighted, you can for sure bet that other TV franchises will follow to face its competition. What will we see next? I dunno. Seinfeld would be nice. Facts of Life? Nah. Anyway in fantastical theme song news. Its seems Huey Lewis has penned and sang the theme song to Seth Rogen's Pineapple Express. I heard it and it is as glorious as anyone can imagine. I assume he was going for the Back to the Future, Power of Love feel and it works. I really love it and I am sure we will all love a Rated R stoner comedy. Even though I am not a stoner, its still fun to laugh. All right I did once, but what haven't I done?

Until Tomorrow, let's talk film!